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Joke of the Day

"Facebook needs an ""I've already seen this on Twitter"" button."

"I hate airplanes and flying. It's like someone throwing a can full of people over the ocean and hoping someone in Europe will catch it."

"GHOST: I'm here to warn you to change your ways before it's too late POLTERGEIST: I'ma open your cupboards"

"My finger just touched a public toilet seat. I don't want to be all dramatic about it so I'll just say goodbye forever."

"How to get laid. A guide. Steps: 1. Lay on Bed 2. Wait 2 hours 3. Lay becomes past tense."

"Don't believe anything a weatherman says until he takes off the jacket and rolls up the sleeves."

"What do you call a bunch of pro wrestlers hitting each other with blocks of cheddar and wheels of gouda? Battle Royale with cheese."

"If I Cuold Time Travel I would fix the title."

"You can say what you like about Paedophiles... ..at least they drive slowly in a school area."

"I'm rockin the 'Barbie doll' look today. No, I didn't dye my hair blonde. I did 4 pushups and now I can't unbend my arms"