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Joke of the Day

"My wife sez that I'm too extravagant; that if anything ever happens to her I'll have to beg. I told her I'd be fine. I mean look at all the experience I've got."

"""Hey, we're best friends! This is the most fun ever! Lets take some pictures!"" - drunk people"

"[commercial for soup] Have you ever wanted to eat regular food only with water poured all over it? NARRATOR: SOUP"

"The only standards I have in life are about the quality of alcohol I consume, and even that gets sketchy after about 5 drinks."

"How do you get rid of a Reddit admin? Chooter"

"What happens when you give a cow a joint? The steaks are high"

"what sex position produces the ugliest babies? ask your mother"

"Hugh Jackman I like to call Hugh Jackman, Huge Jackman because I imagine he has a big dick. When he masturbates, he would have a Huge Jack, Man."

"remember when everyone was worried we'd reached ""peak TV"" with too much to watch then it turned out we're a tragic nation of unending racism"

"I tried to walk into Target... But I missed. - Mitch Hedberg RIP."