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Joke of the Day

"I reverse engineered a time machine... Eureka!"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seat belt."

"Why did the basketball receive medical attention? He was passed out."

"What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub? Throw your laundry in."

"It's been a horrible morning so far. My ex got run over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver :("

"I don't trust atoms. Because they make up everything"

"The signature dish of a restaurant called the Twisted Rooster: Mobius Chicken Strips."

"What do you call a pizza who's a DJ? DJ Beazza Yes it's a stupid pun, but that's a good 50% of my humor, the other half being sarcasm."

"I have a problem with taking things literally. My attorney advises me that it's called 'theft'."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but first the lightbulb must decide to change itself."