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Joke of the Day

"I can never write a joke without being criticized about the punchline So fuck you guys"

"What's the fastest way to get away from Hell? Piss off Satan's wife."

"If I were a rapper I'd go by the name of lay-Z. Wouldn't release a single track."

"What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell!"

"Why is ""fuck you"" an insult? I mean, i fuck my self every day"

"[sprains my ankle] Doc: does it hurt when you put pressure on it? Me: Let me check Me: [to ankle] c'mon dude try it, it's only one cigarette"

"A good will gesture . . . A friendly chap from a local charity asked for a donation towards restoring the community swimming pool today. . . I gave him a bottle of water."

"What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza? Little Seizures..."

"What did the people say about the eccentric poo? It was a little nutty."

"I'm not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me ""2mer is B-9, woot!"""