172096

Joke of the Day

"How do you tell the difference between a normal potato from a slutty potato? The slutty one has the sticker that reads Idaho."

"Yesterday I bought an expensive but poorly made tie... I think my ascot ripped off!"

"What did fish A say to fish B? Wasabi?"

"According to Verizon, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ."

"""I was on Vine before it was cool."" - Tarzan"

"What is a physicist's favorite cookie? Sig-fig Newtons"

"*ring ring* Hello? ""If u want to see ur son again give me $500,000"" OH GOD PLEASE DONT HURT HIM ""I won't if u-"" Haha gotcha, leave a message"

"Why doesn't Mexico have its own Olympic team? Because all those who can run, jump, or swim are already in the US."

"Have you seen 'Wears My Penis? Ooops, typo. Have you seen where my pen is?"

"I feel sorry for Santa..... I hear he only cums once a year....maybe it's his age....."