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Joke of the Day

"[holds up bread] ""This is my body"" [holds up wine] ""this is my blood"" [holds up puppy] ""and this is my new pet"" [apostles go fricken nuts]"

"What did one firefly say to the other ? Got to glow now !"

"Tip for new parents: The less you feed 'em, the less they poop."

"Forget sex positions, has anyone found a reading position that doesn't get uncomfortable after about 5 minutes?"

"Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring."

"Why did Germany run out of gas? Because they gave it to the Jews I'll be in Argentina for awhile."

"Nothing says you're worth more than $25 but not quite worth $50 like a $40 gift certificate."

"Never hold in a fart... they go to your head, and that's where shitty ideas come from."

"Two robots discuss beauty They both come to the conclusion that magnets are really attractive"

"I hate those who are anti-democracy, anti-freedom or anti-semitic but if there is one anti thing that i like it is Anti-jokes"