172041
Joke of the Day
"Facebook timelines are just a step by step account of your march toward death."
Next Joke
"It's only fitting that God would be a woman... since space is a vacuum."
"An old Vermonter is sitting on his porch. A New Yorker is passing by and stops to chat. He asks the old timer, ""Have you lived here all your life."" ""Not yet."""
"Red-nosed Rudolph was hit by a 747 and a flock of seagulls on Christmas Eve during a gift delivery over Barcelona The reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane (Courtesy of Colin Mochrie)"
"if i don't respond to your text, it's because i fell asleep finding a dumb picture of mos def to send u in lieu of typing ""most definitely"""
"What do you call someone who designs playgrounds? A Park-itect"
"My girlfriend and my motorcycle have something in common. The faster I accelerate the ride, the more likely I am to break my crotch."
"My girlfriend's reason for leaving me was because she still hadn't found what she was looking for I replied with ""oh, U2"""
"""I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."" Hotel Clerk ""No, it's regular porn, you sick bitch."""
"I finally figured out why Donald Trump married Melania... ...she came from ***YUUUUUUUUUUUUG***oslavia. ~~(thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week)~~"