171956

Joke of the Day

"Just saw on the news that Apple is suing Samsung: They claim that the Galaxy S3 has copied concepts used on the iPhone 6."

"My wife is kind to strangers, she stopped an old lady from buying evaporated milk... ..., and told her it was just an empty can."

"I hate proof reading. I like to think that whatever I wrote the first time around is already perefct."

"RIP to that hoodie you left at your ex-gf's house. She says she has no idea what youre talkin about but she knows. Wheres my hoodie, Denise?"

"Dogs playing poker Why are dogs bad at poker? Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand. Why did John's dog win the poker tournament? Because he's a Doberman."

"Time flies when you wake up at noon."

"Everyone's awkward shines a little brighter on an elevator."

"Just told a guy talking on his phone in the library to shut the fuck up Everyone applauded me, so I told them to shut the fuck up, too."

"You know how to tell if your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick taste like blood."

"Signs And Notices"