171949

Joke of the Day

"I once knew a women who started walking five miles a day when she turned 60... . Well, she's 99 now and we have no idea where she is."

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"Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car? Because he got an award for revvin' it."
"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't make cheap leather out of Ferraris."
"What did the leper say to the hooker? You can keep the tip."
"Two days ago: omg, I'm so glad I found my watch, I'll never misplace it again! Today: *has zero clue where the hell my watch is*"
"so i accidentally stabbed my friend's butt last night... but he forgave me, it was an asshole."
"What is Mr. T's favorite month? April, fools"
"What do you call someone whose body is only muscular on the right side? A male truck driver."
"NFL catch rules are absurd. ""Even though it looked like he caught it, he hadn't accepted the ball into his heart. Therefore, incomplete."""
"[maintains eye contact while slowly rearranging the dishwasher]"