171924

Joke of the Day

"ME: in closing, all of the facts I've presented today prove that Bush did 911 PRIEST: and now the bride will read the vows she has written"

"So the American people's choices for President of the United States will most likely be Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That's it. That's the joke. There is no punchline."

"Went to my friend's house for a night of drinking... ...crashed on the couch. I was awoken in the middle of the night by my friend blowing chunks. Chunks is the family dog"

"New air jordans What do you call the new air jordans in mexico The air juan 11sd"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alex ! Alex who ? Alex Plain later !"

"The average person swallows 3 cats on their drive home from work."

"I used to be a narcissist But now look at me"

"Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant? He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny."

"Last night, a two-seat, single engine plane crashed in a Polish cemetery. Polish authorities report that they have recovered five hundred bodies so far and believe thousands more may still be found."

"It's cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can't even dress the kids properly."