171727
Joke of the Day
"What would happen if pigs could fly? Bacon would go up!"
Next Joke
"[highspeed chase] ANCIENT GREEK COP: Damn they're getting away *turns on Siren* [several nearby ships are lured to their doom]"
"I'm like a reverse MacGyver. I can take a perfectly working item, step on it drunk, then turn it into dozens of unusable, meaningless parts."
"What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech? Give me a moment...ummmm.(momentum)"
"""Tony, why do you always go around spelling your name backwards?"" Tony: ""Why not?"""
"Old people poke me at weddings and tell me ""you're next"" So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."
"I bought a used UPS truck. It gets poor gas mileage but I can park anywhere."
"My local newspaper ran a pun writing contest I entered my ten best puns hoping one would win, sadly no pun in ten did"
"My cat sat up from a dead sleep and stared, frantic toward the empty basement laundry room so I guess I'll be buying a new house now."
"A notorious card sharp was found dead last night. He'd been clubbed on the heart with a diamond spade."