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Joke of the Day

"All of these people are screaming like they've never seen someone revving a chainsaw on a public beach."

"Therapist: Alright, let's start at the beginning Me: *Sighs* I guess it all really started when I wasn't born a centaur"

"Voyager 1 left the solar system 1 year ago and still gets a better signal than an iPhone in my apartment."

"Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to ""make it a double""."

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide."

"How much equations does it take to finish a math test? Only Sum"

"Girl i heared you like bad boys I don't like bragging but i am so bad that when my mom tells me i can eat only one cookie i eat two!"

"What did the peadophile say when he was released from prison? I feel like a kid again"

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my cock down your throat ;)"

"There is a bomb going to explode in 3...2...1... Holy shit, this blew up!"