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Joke of the Day

"BBC SPORT: Kilmarnock interested in Belgian defender Mark de Man. Apparently, they are also interested in his compatriots, striker Skor de Gaulle and goalkeeper Bloek de Schott."

"If monogamy is sex with only one person, what is origami?"

"Doctor, the suppositories you prescribed for me are horribly bitter! -- Have you been ... eating them? -- No, I've been shoving them up my ass!"

"Our dishwasher works exceedingly well, as long as you only put clean dishes in it."

"Dear god, please let me have sex at least as often as adobe or java needs an update. Everyday."

"Sir it would appear that you have sugar poisoning ""You mean Diabetes?"" Ooh look at me, I'm a patient that knows all the diseases ooh"

"Well, that's definitely the last time I ever go shopping with my wife... We were on our way home from Tesco this morning and she dropped down dead."

"[kitchen] ""Please pass the bee-nut butte-"" *wife glares* ""-the honey"""

"""I woke up like this"" [looks terrible]"

"A man with Alzheimer's starts telling a joke. where am I?"