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Joke of the Day

"Why does China have such a large population??? Because their condoms were Made in China."

"Why are giraffe's heads so far away from their bodies? Long necks."

"Have you seen www.quicksand.com? Yes but it hasn't sunk in yet."

"Any leftover cabbage can and will be shredded and mixed with mayo - Cole's Law"

"What do songwriters do after they die? They decompose"

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a sperm whale? Fifty pounds and a flannel shirt."

"I don't understand why everyone is mad at Lance Armstrong... Like I give him props... Have you ever tried biking before on drugs? It's fucking hard."

"Could you guys not make jokes about the holocaust here? My grandfather died in the holocaust, and it's really offending me. He fell out of one of the guard towers at Auschwitz"

"There's nothing more annoying than someone trying to live by their values"

"Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today , she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead , until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby."