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Joke of the Day

"What is the proudest body part? the veins"

"I am so lonely The only ex I have is in my chromosome XY :/"

"The guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said a collar and restraints and now I'm not allowed in Subway."

"Donald Trump. ...That is the joke."

"Why did the baker have smelly fingers? Because he kneaded a poo."

"What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...? I heard that he was fully re-covered."

"I keep a picture of a dragon fighting a helicopter in my wallet, in case the police ask to see my license for awesome."

"Birds are dinosaurs? No. I want dinosaurs here or I want them completely gone. I don't need a bullshit imitation dinosaur to shit on my car."

"*interrupts eulogy* SOMEONE SAID THAT ALMOST WORD FOR WORD AT THE LAST FUNERAL"

"Why won't Americans switch to a dollar coin? They're afraid of change."