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Joke of the Day

"What's an epileptic's favorite side dish? Seizure salad."

"I invented the sandal for people with one leg. It was a flop."

"Just figured out what ""CW"" means so now I have to re-read all of Twitter."

"Do let me know if you're ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You're welcome :)"

"At the disco last night. They played twist. I did the twist. They played jump. I jumped. They played come on Eileen. I got kicked out."

"What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut sleeps with everybody. A bitch sleeps with everybody but you."

"Ever look in the fridge and be disappointed that all there is for supper is leftover pizza and beer? Yeah, me neither..."

"What did one math book say to the other math book? You've got problems."

"Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you."

"It's so hot I just saw two trees fighting over a dog."