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Joke of the Day
"What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape? What are your Hemsworth?"
Next Joke
"reasons white people riot: 1. their sports team wins 2. their sports team loses 3. no more tickle me elmos 4. tea 5. pumpkins"
"Whoever said that all press is good press... clearly hasn't heard of Lostprophets."
"New Years Resolutions I've decided on a few attainable resolutions... * put on some weight * exercise less * watch some TV, play some computer games * procrastinate (maybe I'll do that later)"
"Vodka is just potatoes that made the right career choices."
"The dominating wife A woman at an optician's shop: I am returning the glasses I bought for my husband. He is still not seeing things my way!"
"""When in doubt, puke up some clear, sticky fluid."" -Cats"
"I am looking at my neighbor's wife through the wall with this new thermal imaging scope. She's hot!"
"Sometimes I think I'm too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop."
"Q: Who is always your friend at school? A: Your princi-pal."