170877

Joke of the Day

"if men fall asleep directly after sex . . . why is it so hard to catch a rapist? -Jimmy Carr p.s. never high five a rabbi"

"Y'all are gonna lose your minds when Donald Trump eats a Snickers and turns into Bernie Sanders."

"My wife thought her water broke so we went to emergency. Turns out her bong just has a crack in it or something."

"A sniper looks over a large crowd of people from his hidden perch. Over his earpiece, he is told to fire at will. He carefully spots his target, and shoots. ""Crap, that wasn't Will."""

"What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than two bee stings? Still the Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. good'ole anti-humor haha"

"What do you do with a dead chemist? You Barium."

"Sam sung a song, and PUFF! An apple materialized!"

"As a child Moses auditioned for his school play but he didn't get the part. Ironic."

"Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work? Because he got Snowden"

"*at Starbucks* ""Ya I'll have the medium roast please"" *Barista insults him a lot but not too much*"