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Joke of the Day

"Chinese elders dildo SHITTY SHITTY SHITTY"

"Are you the Proletariat? Because I feel an uprising in my lower class."

"I just killed like a dozen carpenter ants and now I have no idea what I'm going to do with all these little tool belts."

"why does a fly hang upside down ? to take the weight of its feet."

"Hard to concentrate on work with Arbor Day so close."

"What do you call an Egyptian spine manipulator? A Cairo-practor"

"HOW DO PIGS TALK? SWINE LANGUAGE."

"I was going to tell a joke about a popular rock band, but.. I'm going to need A Day To Remember."

"I bought a parrot... And it could talk. But it did not say ""I'm hungry."" So it died."

"""Ma'am, are you aware that you were going 92 in a 55? I'm gonna need you to step out of the car."" ""Um, I have a boyfriend."""