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Joke of the Day

"How can you find the blind guy at a nudist colony? It's not hard"

"Dear person who just turned in your resume with no name or phone number. You didn't get the job."

"KID: *falls out of tree* I'm fine ADULT: *sleeps on neck a little strangely* I have to turn my whole body to look at you for the next week"

"Did I mention ... I can't believe it's nearly Christmas. I once tried to balance a board on two wheels. Did I mention I make terrible segways?"

"How do you starve a worthless mooch? By hiding his employment check in his work boots."

"What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat? Claude"

"Brock Turner got a slap on the wrist because he's a professional swimmer. And that's the furthest thing from being black one can be!"

"Chemistry One Liner I'd love to tell you a chemistry joke, but I heard they were argon. As seen on a bridge at my local university."

"Cop : ""Lets Do a drug test"" Me: ""Cool, which drugs are we testing?"""

"Note to self: Used VHS tapes do not make good emergency gifts, always go with stuff from the freezer."