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Joke of the Day

"Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar One says, ""I've lost an electron."" The other says, ""Are you sure?"" The first replies, ""Yes, I'm positive."""

"You - The food smells wonderful Me - That's me I burped"

"Why are people pissed off that Justin Bieber smoked some weed? It's not like he released another album or anything."

"What does the country of Brazil and tent sex have in common? Camp penis."

"What's the difference between having sex and killing animals? One is OK to do for fun but not OK to do for profit, the other is vice versa."

"I am going to tell my friends... That I will show up to their holloween party as Amelia Earhart...then not show up."

"Did you see the headline about the film director who stormed off set after someone filled his trailer with herbs? Michael Bay Leaves"

"Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning."

"I was cured of lycanthropy. Now I'm a were-wolf."

"i couldn't tell you, officer, they were wearing masks, they could have been any group of armed anthropomorphic turtles"