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Joke of the Day

"Where is the worst place to hide in a hospital? In the ICU."

"Modern day Paul Revere still warns about enemy incursions. But now it's one if by LAN, two if by wifi."

"I ran a marathon in 2011 if you add it all up probably."

"Kid: Waaaahhhhh! MY TOY IS BROKEN! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape can't fix. Kid: mrnm... mmrm.. rnmr..."

"A book fell on my head I can only blame my shelf."

"I didn't spend years perfecting this blank, vacant expression so you could mistake me for someone who cares, lady..."

"Q: Why is Bill Clinton diverting federal funds from improving schools to improving jails? A: Because when his term is through he won't be going to school."

"Hillbillies are getting restless. Neighbor kid is dancing around a burn barrel listening to Whitesnake & wearing a Batman mask"

"what goes thump thump thump squish thump thump thump squish a Caterpillar with one wet sneaker."

"Where do you take someone who overdoses on homeopathic medicine? A mental hospital"