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Joke of the Day

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb_ You can't know man, you weren't fucking there."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday... one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off"

"Customer: What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup? Waiter: Probably learning to read."

"Women who want to renew your wedding vows.... Why not renew the bachelorette party? You'd probably have more fun."

"What's the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of 'em!"

"My wife came home with a duck under her arm... ""This is the pig I've been fucking"" she said ""That is a duck, not a pig"" I replied ""I'm not talking to you"""

"What does a Drake fan with AIDS get tattooed on his back? If you're reading this it's too late."

"I wish there was something called the pizza/enchilada/beer diet where you lost weight. Cause I'm on it and that's not what's happening."

"I once took a ski away from an Eskimo... Then he dressed in black and got real depressed"

"How did Donald Trump lose $916 million? Well he was handed everything in life. Have you seen his hands? Most of what he was gifted slipped right through."