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Joke of the Day

"Why do scuba divers flip backwards when going into the water? Because if they flipped forwards they'd still be in the boat"

Next Joke
 
"Three steps to start a relationship. 1- buy a sheep 2- name it ""relation"" 3- now you have a relationsheep."
"What is one thing that I would never give? I don't give a rat's ass!"
"Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the ""11"" in ""9-1-1""."
"Go away bee, don't bother me. A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing."
"Turning 30 is like fucking your sister Your dad wishes he could do it again."
"cop: why'd you kill him? me: I was trying to count something and he kept shouting random numbers cop: ugh hate that you're free to go"
"So it's legal to sleep on a pillow but illegal to hold it over someone's face until they die? Ugh, government"
"What do you say when somebody cuts in front of you in line for Vietnamese noodles? Hey, pho queue, dude"
"Crocs are the most effective birth control."