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Joke of the Day

"Double standard - bear breaks into girl's house, bear gets shot. Girl breaks into bear's house, we write a children's story about it."

"The best part about being ugly? You don't have to change your profile picture for Halloween."

"Hey Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the sperm bank? He was caught drinking on the job."

"What were the last words of the Mayor of Hiroshima? ""What the fuck was tha . . ."""

"Mind over matter they told me... Thanks for the gold stranger! *edit* Front page! Much wow!"

"Your mama is so dirty Her crabs have dirt bike races."

"White people can't say the N word, but we DO get to say things like, ""Thanks Dad"" and, "" Thanks for the warning, Officer."""

"What do you get when you combine a Comedian and a Whorehouse? a BROFL"

"*tries to flirt* *twirls hair in fingers* *fingers get caught in giant knot* *learns to live using only one arm*"

"I get out of awkward conversations by pulling a balloon out, making a dog and just say I need to take it for a walk."