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Joke of the Day

"Double standard - bear breaks into girl's house, bear gets shot. Girl breaks into bear's house, we write a children's story about it."

"""You're attachment is too large,"" my computer tells me. I blush. ""My eyes are up here,"" I respond coyly."

"I told Leonardo DiCaprio a joke about the Oscars... He didn't get it."

"When I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, ""Shark! Help!"" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"What's the key to a great Thanksgiving? Turkey"

"Why do old men need Viagra? Because they are screwing old women!"

"Did you hear about the cannibal that went to the rock concert? He heard there was a Jimmy Buffet."

"Did you know it was women who coined the term, ""Bromance""? Yeah, basically the concept of friendship is so foreign to them that they created a new word for it."

"What do you call a psychic midget that just robbed a bank? Small medium at large"

"Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends."