169665

Joke of the Day

"Why did the bank robber go to the chiropractor? Because he had a crook in his neck."

"I wrote a theatrical performance on puns Really, it was just a play on words."

"What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up? An umbrella!"

"Grandson is having sex with his grandma The father walks in and says, Son! Your fucking with my mother! The grandson replys: so! You fuck mine all the time and i dont tell you shit!"

"What is the difference between a JCB and a giraffe? One has hydraulics the other has high bolics."

"I run a suicide hotline. A guy called me once, told me I had 60 seconds to convince him not to jump off his balcony on the 41st floor. He must've confused me with the *anti*-suicide hotline."

"My landlord wanted to come talk to me about the high heating bill I told him, ""My door is always open""."

"Kinda miss the Jane Austen era where a man is driven mad by a woman's hand being ungloved & yet oblivious to her heaving bosom falling out."

"I'm so lazy, If autocorrect doesn't know the word after 3 letters I don't even bother sending the text."

"Why did the coach go to Aldi? To get his quarterback."