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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together."
Next Joke
"Someone offered to take me fly fishing, but I turned them down. I like to keep it reel."
"I felt I was overcharged by a prostitute, so I cut off the end of her foot.... ... When I was finally arrested, they charged me with Grand Theft Whore Toe"
"Why do Chinese people love NY? Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each."
"Would everyone in the room who believes in telekinesis... Please raise my hand?"
"They say physicists like to work with harmonic oscillation because it's the only problem they can solve. That's not exactly true, but it is a good approximation."
"Now's a good time to change your facebook name to ""Nobody,"" so when you click like on ignorant statuses it says, ""Nobody likes this."""
"Relationships are all about finding someone that works opposite hours than you so you never have to see them."
"I'm an anti vaccine activist, and didn't vaccinate my children. They're all dead, but at least they don't have autism!"
"Cop pulls over bad driver Cop- sir do you realize how badly you were switching lanes? Guy- sorry officer, I'm drunk af Cop-that's not a valid reason to let your girlfriend drive the car"