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Joke of the Day

"So my scatterbrained friend accused me of misquoting cliches... Isn't that the pot calling the kettle a racist?!?!"

"It sucks being a wiener. Your best friends are a couple of nuts and you neighbor's an asshole."

"Why was the little shoe sad? [His father is a loafer.]( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4_OBPxJgjY) I'm here all night"

"If you look long enough and hard enough you could make a lot of money doing porn."

"Which is the saltiest fish? Tuna"

"How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building? About 16 seconds"

"[Checking in at Comic Con] Attendant: How long did you spend on your cosplay? Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked ""Casual""*"

"[NSFW] Do you know what really brings out the child in me? A miscarriage."

"What is long and hard on a black man? Third grade."

"My friend asked me if I was interested in a chess tournament. I said yes and he tried to sell me a sculpture of a woman's tits."