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Joke of the Day

"How did the farmer find his daughter? He Tractor."

"Just when you think parenting can't be any weirder, you find yourself consoling your son, upset that he can't get a squirrel to hug him."

"What kind of doctor is always on call? An oncologist."

"BOSS: You ok? ME: Yeah, why? BOSS: You have a sign that says ""2 Days Without Being Annoyed"" [maintaining eye contact, I change it to 0]"

"We should stop making jokes out of Harambe Those jokes are dead anyways"

"What do you call Batman skipping church? Christian Bail."

"Why Can't a Nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot"

"I've got a joke about metal. Actually, no... Scrap that."

"""Honey, have you seen the baby? I haven't seen the baby since I asked you to throw out the bath wat--OH DEAR GOD!!"" - birth of an expression"

"What's worse than being told by your doctor that you have gonorrhea? Being told by your dentist"