169383

Joke of the Day

"You know what is going on in Ukraine? Donetsk, don't tell."

"""I'm a diamond in the rough."" ""That's a whole lot of rough."""

"I'm a spitting image of Ryan Gosling. Like if Ryan Gosling were to spit and look at his reflection in it, that would be me."

"Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive caring and good-looking? A. Because those men already have boyfriends."

"Murphy's wife told him he should put a pair of clean socks on every day. By Friday he couldn't get his boots on."

"Whats the difference between your mom and a mosquito? (not for sensitive peeps) A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it"

"TIFU at Subway - accidentally sent someone to the ER Oops, wrong sub"

"womens rights Lol"

"Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ? Pupil: 12 - 2nd January 2nd February...!"

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far she's getting a McChicken."