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Joke of the Day

"I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. ""You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"""

"New machine at the gym There is a new machine at the gym. It's truly awesome! I almost puked after an hour, it really has it all. Cookies, chocolate bars, chips, sodas."

"The Indian baking festival was kind of a bust. It was a naan event."

"What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet? On a scale from one to ten, urinate."

"Girl: ""How do I look today?"" Bruno Mars: ""When I see your faceeee"" Girl: ""Ok ok I get it."""

"Achilles thought his job interview was going well until they asked about his greatest weakness... Then he had to admit defeat."

"Someone stole all the toilets from the police station downtown. The cops have nothing to go on."

"A man walks into a tailor to buy a tuxedo. He confidently tells the tailor he doesn't need any assistance. The tailor says... ... ""Fine. Suit yourself."""

"I keep forgetting my passwords so I changed them all to one that's super easy for me to remember: InsufficientFundsContactYourBank00.00"

"It's been so long since I bought groceries, this morning I saw a cockroach move out. ""Good luck,"" he sighed, clutching his tiny suitcases."