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Joke of the Day

"[text] I'm very hungry but I'm sick and tired of the food at my work! ;( Maybe I'll try bringing lunch from home?!"

"Q: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the back seat of a car? - A: Put him in the front seat."

"I bought shoes from a second hand shop. They must've belonged to a junkie though because I've been tripping all day."

"What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One's a Fe-Male, and the other's a woman in a power suit."

"Shoutout to all the girls that can't update their status because they told some guy they tired...& going to bed."

"[bank] Robber: EVERYONE GET DOWN! Me: [crying] my wife left & my kids think I'm a joke Robber: No I mean- Robber2: Wait! Let him finish"

"A deer, a skunk, and a duck went to the grocery store. When they were ready to check out, the deer didn't have a buck, the skunk didn't have a scent, so they put it all on the duck's bill."

"Drunk girls really seem to enjoy dancing on top of things."

"I used to have a part time job helping a one-armed typist write capital letters It was shift work."

"Why Do Jews Make Good Philosophers? They think that everything Israel."