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Joke of the Day

"Fun Fact: The average 3-year-old boy can stick 11 kernels of corn up his nose before he needs a trip to the ER."

"What do you call a prostitute with white eyes? Full up."

"I'm not schizophrenic, but he is (points at nothing)"

"What do we want? SOME GOOD DECISIONS! When do we want them? BEFORE LAST NIGHT!"

"What do Boobs and Lego have in common? Both are intended for children, but it's the Dads who end up playing with them most."

"I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair."

"Why wouldn't the two tampons speak to each other? Because they were both stuck-up cunts."

"The best things in life aren't things."

"I overdosed on my homeopathic medicine today. Forgot to take it."

"This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds"