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Joke of the Day

"PUTIN: If your American lover is in this room I'll kill him ELENA: He's not! PUTIN: (softly) u...s... [bursting from closet] A! USA! USA!"

"Don't do anything rash - inept doctor trying to keep a skin eruption from spreading"

"Why was the lion-tamer fined ? He parked on a yellow lion !"

"Have you heard about Beyonce's new perfume line, Beyotch?"

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand anymore? It was two tired."

"Breaking News! President Putin have decided to restore Crimea territory to Ukraine. But President Poroshenko was so drunk and just declined the offer."

"A jewish boy goes up to his father and says ""Abba, I need 40 dollars."" The father looks surprised and says "" THIRTY DOLLARS? What do you need Twenty dollars for?"""

"Donald Trumps Presidential Campaign I'd say thats a good enough joke..."

"Why haven't they installed a mirror on cars that only covers your blind spot?"

"Why can't Helen Keller use an iPhone? Because she's dead."