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Joke of the Day
"I am schizophrenic, AUA"
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"What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? Wipes."
"Why your convertible is like the best girlfriend you've ever had (1) She enjoys when you're inside her (2) She squeals when you're going hard and fast (3) She takes her top off whenever you ask"
"What did the lead researcher say when all of her colleagues were complaining about the experiment? ""I don't care et al."""
"What do you call a nun who's drinking a pint? Catholic"
"I was going to tell a gay joke... But fuck it."
"If it ain't broke, my children haven't touched it yet."
"What's the difference between a crackhead and a John? A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him."
"so a native american walks into a fancy restaurant he says to the guy seating people, I have reservations."
"Lead me not into temptation... fcuk that, follow me, I know a shortcut."