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Joke of the Day

"[at Victoria's Secret] *folding panties on table* ""Sir, where are the fitting rooms?"" Oh, I don't work here. *continues folding panties*"

"Two words that would mean the end of Twitter - Miley Bieber."

"I was going to make a joke about Counter Strike... But it would be globally offensive."

"News, just in: Truck Stolen! A lorry containing 150 pallets of Viagra was stolen last night. Police are searching the country for a gang of hardened criminals."

"If billionaires were allowed to influence the results on American Idol instead of American elections, there would be rioting in the streets."

"Every Winter, one bear chooses not to hibernate. Instead, he stocks up on Sharpies and turns all of the brown bears into black bears."

"""Getting real tired of your crap..."" Said no dung beetle ever."

"Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle."

"WHY DID THE PRISONER TYPE IN ALL UPPERCASE? THEY WERE SENTENCED TO CAPITAL PUNISHMENT."

"""Why don't you trust me?"", she texted both the guys simultaneously."