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Joke of the Day

"Tomb = Toom Womb = Woom Bomb = Boom"

"How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty."

"I go to the gym religiously Christmas, and maybe Easter"

"I'm a responsible person. People are always saying ""I know you're responsible for this."""

"So there's 100 000 pascals in a bar..."

"If a horse's front legs are traveling at 200mph, what are it's back legs doing? Hauling ass."

"[Science Meeting, 1924] Why don't we tell the people that every snowflake is unique? It's not like they'll ever really check ""Let's do it"""

"People say... People say I'm not a fun loving person. Well some nights I am, some I'm not. That's all folks! I'll be sitting on the bleachers if any one needs me!"

"My grief counselor died last week. Luckily, he was so good I didn't give a shit"

"Karate classes... Because breaking boards on your head is all cool and shit if a House ever starts attacking you."