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Joke of the Day

"sexyaardvark69 [username taken] sexywombat69 [username taken] sexyplatypus69 [username taken] sorry this might take a while..."

"My home phone rang. Weird."

"Eating some turkey? Put gravy on it. Mashed potatoes dry? Try gravy. Headache? Shot of gravy. Depressed? More gravy. Lost a limb? Gra"

"A mother moth was telling her baby moth off saying ""If you don't eat all your cotton you won't get any satin."""

"Don't hesitate when you come to a fork in the road. Be bold. Pick that fork up and take it home. Free cutlery!"

"[PHONE] ""TSA, How can I help you?"" Me: ""Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List?!"" Agent: ""Umm..."" Me: ""DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"""

"Back in the day my parents wanted me to marry only one of my own. Now they're like ""That orangutan looks nice. That elephant looks smart."""

"Phones - they bring you closer to the people that... ... also have phones."

"Proves a point Bruce Jenner never had a car accident until he became a woman driver."

"They're not gym clothes if you don't go to the gym, they're pajamas."