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Joke of the Day

"Wife: ""Too bad my tits aren't keyboards, maybe they'd get some attention!"" Me: ""Your tits are fine, its your bitch personality"""

"I like my women like I like my dick... ...kept in a dark place and taken out to be beaten every once in a while"

"What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant."

"I use a sword to argue with people. They usually get my point."

"Wanna hear a racist joke? What's worse than the Holocaust? The Jews."

"Why don't you undress in front of Pokemon? Because they might Pikachu!"

"Why does Irish bean soup have exactly 239 beans in it? (Irish accent) Because one more and it would be too farty."

"Always remember, that no matter how useless you think you are, you are still someone's reason to smile."

"What happened when the wheel was invented? It caused a revolution."

"how do you call those guys who hang around with musicians all the time? Drummers."