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Joke of the Day
"I watched a programmer do stand-up comedy. I've gotta say, I loved his bits."
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"An American and a Finn are drinking in a bar... After an hour, the American says ""ahh, this is good beer."" The Finn says ""Are we drinking or talking?"""
"How are girlfriend like cults? You have to prove your devotion before you're welcomed into the folds."
"My gf & I are toying w/the idea of changing both of our last names rather than hyphenate Easier & we can have fun with it Mrs Velociraptor."
"Why do Mexican students act like they own the school? Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof"
"The lesbian couple next door got me a Rolex for my birthday... I think they misheard me when I said ""I wanna watch"""
"Who would win in a race? The Tortoise or the Reddit Servers?"
"IPHONES... When I wants to talks to someones."
"How many women fits in a monk monastery? Nun."
"Loomis: Does your dog have a license? Fenton: Hell no! I do all the drivin'."