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Joke of the Day

"I spent 10 minutes comparing minivans with another dad in case you wondered what it's like to be dead inside."

"What's 12 inches long, stiff, red and purple, and makes women scream? Crib death"

"I'd hit that. - women drivers"

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? can't jam peanut butter in your ass"

"For the past 2 nights my stomach sounds like cat purring when I lay down. I'm terrified to Web MD this. I'm too young to have kittens."

"I ordered a horse from a rancher, but got a mule. Seems he half-assed it..."

"A termite walks into a bar... And says, ""is the bar tender here?"""

"I accidentally sent my essay to the 3D printer... it came out as a piece of shit"

"Why do jews like jail Because of all the shackles.....im terribly sorry"

"My hamster died as he lived... in the microwave."