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Joke of the Day

"I'd be less scared of trying to take a gun from a mugger than I am of taking an iPad from my kid."

"A good rule of thumb is to never be in Liam Neeson's movie family."

"Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg? Don't worry he's ""ALRIGHT"" now!"

"Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life."

"Swine Flu is back? Just when you think something is gone forever it comes back and makes people sick.. Just like Dennis Rodman"

"People always complain that Jewish people have all the money. Well if 6 million of your people died, you'd expect at least some inheritance"

"I'm behind 38 episodes of Game of Thrones. I'll just jump in the new season and piece it all together. Should be fine."

"did you hear about that kidnapping in Texas? He woke up."

"[car wreck] [hand reaches out] ""Take my hand. I'm Chad Kroeger from the popular band Nickelback."" [I let the flames slowly bake me alive]"

"Why did the sperm cross the street? Because i put on the wrong socks."