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Joke of the Day

"Why is no one friends with Dracula? Cause hes a pain in the neck."

"It's almost Valentine's day It's almost Valentine's Day and I don't even have a date, even the milk carton has a date."

"What do you call a robot with bad breath who's sister lives on its foot? HAL-i-toe-sis"

"What's the I.T. guy's favorite pokemon game? It's a toss up between ruby and perl."

"I don't have enough milk for my Cocoa Puffs. Buddha was right. Life is suffering."

"Only God can judge me. *gets hit by lightning*"

"""Mr. President, you have some Updog in east Syria."" ""What's Updog?"" ""[unfurls projector screen] Updog is a military terrorist organizati"

"I think my girlfriend might be pregnant... ...I just laughed at a Dad joke."

"Spruce up your weeknight: run the dishwasher and imagine you're on a cruise!"

"In Transylvania, it's your Count that votes."