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Joke of the Day
"How do you discuss cheese with a Welshman? Very Caerphilly."
Next Joke
"We have to break up. What? Why? It's not Staryu... it's Starmie."
"9: Have you seen my harmonica? [flashback to me smashing it with a hammer] me: Did you look under your bed?"
"Dead Babies What's worse than seven dead babies in a trash can? One dead baby in seven trash cans. What's your dead baby joke?"
"Who did the crocodiles call when they found one of their own dead? The investiGATOR"
"I hate songs about how hard it is to be on the road. Stop being a musician if you don't like it. Apply to law school."
"I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see."
"My wife gets angry when she catches me using her tooth brush. But how the hell do you get the dog shit out of your sneakers."
"What do you call a North Korean Gorilla? King Kong Un (From my younger brother)."
"Make sure to stand in the middle of group photos. It will be harder to crop you out later."