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Joke of the Day

"Everybody thought potassium was an asshole AND a narcissist. It was probably because all he ever said to anyone was ""K""."

"This dumbass next to me on the highway is texting and driving."

"I tried tricking an Inuit guy last night... ...but he was having Nunavut"

"Best thing about being a hermit? No peer pressure."

"Don't worry if you're not part of a clique. You can get the same experience by running through a minefield."

"My wife always tells me that I treat my kid unfair. I don't even know which one she means. Thomas, Carl or the fat and ugly one?"

"Why does Donald Trump take anti-anxiety medication? To prevent Hispanic attacks."

"""Hey bro can you leave me some of the snack? You're eating way too much."" I said ""sure"", then proceeded to put the cat down."

"What is the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are twenty of them"

"It's not on a map, or some app. MILLER LIGHT"