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Joke of the Day

"A photon is going through airport security... The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, ""No, I'm traveling light."""

"How do sharks like their steak? Whale-done :)"

"Life is like a game of Monopoly: if you're good at it, the rest of your family will hate you"

"Me to My Neighbour we get it. you can hold your breath (*looks at watch*) for 19 days. Quit showing off and come out of that pool."

"I like my women like my heroin Smuggled in a tiny box from South East Asia"

"Has 2 wings but doesn't fly, Has 2 eyes but doesn't see, has 2 legs doesn't walk, what is it ? A Dead bird"

"A MILF is a sexy ass mum over 35. If you're 18, you're just an idiot with a baby."

"A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if you're going to get screwed."

"What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party? Hallowieners!"

"Oh, you want to fight? Ok, one second *takes off glasses, removes retainer, unpins towel cape, empties snacks from pockets, sets down kitten"