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Joke of the Day

"""I'm not going to cosine this oppression in math class...."" Its my triggernometry class"

"Did you know our brains are 75% fat? Thinking about putting mine on a diet."

"What do a moped and a fat chick have in common? Both are fun to ride but you'd never want your friend to catch you on one."

"My doctor said i had to take something against my kleptomania... So i stole his wallet."

"5 year old: ""That's a big truck!"" ""It's a moving truck."" ""ALL TRUCKS MOVE."" Why am I the one that feels like an idiot?"

"Hey Dad, your neighbor called, they wanna know if you could turn down your TV, they've already heard this episode of Law & Order."

"Professor X gets a lot of credit as a progressive considering his solution to a race conflict was ""give them their own school."""

"saw license plate GODLSNS and am not sure whether it's God Listens or Godlessness. doin devil horns anyway"

"My friend showed me some of his childhood photos. ""These look nothing like you!"" My friend responded ""Why would they?"""

"I hate pillow talk when I sleep alone. It just gets me down."