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Joke of the Day

"Just before my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time... I told her I was gonna give her 9 inches. Just as long as she was willing to take 3 inch payments"

"[nsfw] What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese."

"How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? None. German light bulbs are quality products."

"If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have ? Plenty of milk !"

"2 Goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"Why was the man with no arms or legs the BEST party host? Because no matter what, when you get to the front door you will always see a welcome Matt."

"There should be a warning label on those straw cowgirl hats middle-aged women wear on vacation that reads: ""Will cause freckled cleavage."""

"Q: What kind of bar do fish go to? A: A sand bar."

"Chemistry Joke! Why can't acids argue well? All their statements are baseless."

"[15 years ago] Mom: Use protection. I'm too young to be a nana [Now] M: I'll pay for the Russian mail order bride. I WANT GRANDCHILDREN!!"