206225

Joke of the Day

"I bought a race horse and decided to call it ""MY FACE"". Just imagine it running down the home straight with all the women shouting ""COME ON MY FACE""!!"

"What did the sea monster have for dinner? Fish and ships."

"[NSFW] Useless things Q: What are the most useless items ever invented? A: Condoms. If you need one, she's too old."

"What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off"

"""Rest this big wireless transmitter on your balls for several hours a day. I'm sure it's fine."" -- laptop computers"

"Helen Keller walks in to a bar.... Then a table... Then a chair"

"They say to have reasonable expectations when dating, and to look in a mirror to see what you can get. 2/10 looking for a 10/2, please pst"

"Working for sanitation truly is a thankless job Not only do you have to take your boss's shit, you have to deal with everyones"

"[on a first date] Ok, don't let her know you're really a squirrel... Her: I had a great time, good night! Me: *runs in front of her car"

"Yo' daddies house is so old. . . . . . that when you ring the doorbell the toilet flushes. Booyah!"