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Joke of the Day

"sometimes i wonder was it worth it to get laid at the expense of covering my firewood pile when it was about to rain? no... it never is"

"[Insert Funny Name Here] A midget psychic escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large."

"A little boy wrote to Santa Claus... One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, ""Please send me a sister."" Santa Claus wrote him back, ""Ok, send me your mother."""

"I can't personally remember an Olympics with better toilet reporting"

"The zoo only has one animal it's a shih tzu."

"Fact about apple car It has Windows"

"I'm gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet to screw with me when I get Alzheimer's"

"One Night Stand This furniture store keeps emailing me, all I wanted was one night stand!"

"My mate called me an idiot for always getting my idioms wrong but it takes one to know someone."

"1. have a child 2. never mention it on facebook 3. dress it in old-timey clothes and have it stand in the background of all your photos"